Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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