When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
well you can't waste a boner
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
