it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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