We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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