Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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