I love having hate sex.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
