how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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