Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Randomize
