i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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