Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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