I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
