you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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