I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
