I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
