After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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