My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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