Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
never play flip cup with pint glasses
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Randomize
