I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
