Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
