Do you still have your period?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
