...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
