Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Drunk is a universal language darling
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
