Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
