Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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