So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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