Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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