guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
