Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
