It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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