I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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