well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize
