Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
