Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
