Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
