1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
