It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
that's an acceptable place to lick
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
A bitchslap is in order.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
