I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
