cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
How external is "for external use only"?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
