somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
