he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
