Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
