So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I wish there were birth control emojis
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
