And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
