So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
