Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
There r osticjed everywhere
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
