Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
