She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
