how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
