My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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