exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
