Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
