its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I'm like, not good at living.
Randomize
